Saturday, May 31, 2008

What am i?

Am I the abysmal ocean?
Or I the great creation
Too ordinary is the world for me
Or am I the one who is ignominy

I am no other
As others not me
Yet I know the abnormality of me
Which is not known to the self of me
What am I searching for?

Are you the life?
Are you the fire?
Are you the desire?
Or are you the power?
What are you that I am searching for?

Are you the wealth?
Are you the warmth?
Are you the passion?
Or are you the possession?
What are you that I am looking for?

In this running world
And the glittering wayward
Oh! So bad
I don’t know what I am craving for!!

Sunday, May 25, 2008

On the job..

Hi friends,
Thanks for visiting my bloggie ;)

Well….there goes the journey of me as a working woman! Boy..! mom’s’s scoldings...hanging out with friends…those 5 o’clock serials…in total me as a student is no more..!! Yes, the day came when I had to go to “office”! That was sort of a derangement for me to think that am going to office and no more to collage…

The girl in me started thinking, was it right on my part to take such a I actually the grown up one? With the same confusion and pride I reached the office. My seniors welcomed me with half smiles on their faces. There awaited a computer for me and a chair with a name plate. It was altogether a thrilling experience to sit on that chair for the first time. After some time, me thinking to break the hostile silence around...started a conversation with the team mates, who with much difficulty accepted me as one among. First day gone with introductions and induction programs. I was back home to get a royal treatment.

Day two…month two…the work, the meetings, the team lunch, out door work and me. Perhaps jelled well for some time. Days gone by enjoying the work and the perks. I was confident enough to manage my work in the new stream. But at the same time I was also encountered with new experiences. To much of my surprise, I came across the most resentful attitudes. Saw two faces of the same coin. Learnt that life is of much more challenges and dangers than I imagined it to be. Finally I came to the conclusion that…oh this is what is called…”the professionalism”!

Sunday, May 18, 2008

The hunt!

The last day of exam…final semester MA English literature’s last exam paper. A win over feeling after handing the paper over. Came out from the exam hall, a conglomeration of happy, sad and confused state of look on everybody’s face that seemed more or less a monotonous aura at that time. However every one were happy and bid a farewell to each other and as usual we 3 took our way. Me n my friends Neha and Manu. All three of us were happy but again with a question mark on our faces! Need less to say, that question was, ‘what next?’.. in this exploding information technology world, we being the arts students, where would we stand was the much bothering thing hitherto.

Birds of the same feathers flock together..all three of us started thinking alike…that is say no for teaching, which was the only remarkable way for literature pass outs. But that doesn’t mean that we were against teaching. Because we knew teaching is a kind of spiritual way to keep our minds peaceful and happy. Also in a mean way…when I say mean way, I talk about the egoistical satisfaction and the superior feeling that the teaching profession fetches. At least to my extent I can say this is true because, teaching makes one ‘teach’.. be the guru, where as in other profession one has to work under some one as a clerk.

Well…true, but then….! Was it the glamour of the corporate world? or the money in it? Or the social fame it claims? Or was it just a passing affair? Am still searching for the exact reason as to why it made me not to choose such an adorable teaching profession ( atleast for right now, I might take it up after some time though!). However, as we planned before the examinations itself, right after exam we uploaded our thin resumes in the job portals. Ironically, the portals itself had monstrous names to indicate the future! ;) By that day we were already employed, meaning to say, our current profession was hunting for jobs. No sooner our exams ended Neha and me got a call from Meta-I, who had come for the campus selection to our beloved Bangalore university and told us that we both have been shortlisted. There was no end to our happiness. Our fears that we might get rejected by the corporate world, started fading away. But we felt bad for manu being not selected. But however with all the eagerness, we both started getting ready for the interview. Neha, who was pretty much a Belinda of our collage, wanted me to have a great makeover which she often dreamt off. She took me to the parlour, made me have a haircut, step with razor cut!! Was bit painful for my long black hair. And she made me have my eyebrow shaped. Finally, it was looking like a warrior well trained and ready for the jump into the new corporate world!

The day came, when we have to reach our much awaited destiny. We were ready to kick the day off with the journey to meta-I. Our stomach trembled with full of butterflies. We were amalgamated by fear, curiosity and happiness. It was in JP nagar, as we reached near to the place, we started thinking as to how diplomatically we have to behave and how hypothetically we have to answer. The land mark was next to Aris global, and we reached there. Oops! That was starring. We got down there and started searching for meta-i. As we moved further, for our much disappointment meta-I was a small, not so professional, home come office! All our eagerness and hopeful hopes came to an end, but however we soon recovered and thought to attend the interview. That was a general round of interview wherein we were asked to introduce ourselves and gave the company’s introduction. A day later came the results that I had been selected. With all that disappointment I really felt happy as my first attempt didn’t go a vain. They didn’t not select Neha as they knew that she was of much above the company’s standards!
I was asked to report on 2nd of July 07. A week more to go. By that time we got another call. That was from fidelity investments!!! A big boss in corporate finance. By this time we knew that we have our say in this unknown world. All three of us went to take the test there and test ourselves. This was a real challenge. We still managed to clear all the round but unfortunately, we could not make it up in the last and final round. But Neha made it up to the mark and got a seat in the big brother’s lap. The fidelity was a huge office, full of glamour and passion and also scary. Though that was a kind of place we dreamed, after reaching there I personally felt, this is not what I am!! Within me I never really wanted it. But still I wanted it. May be this is what is called the psychology of human beings. We never really want a single destination. In other words everybody think always in oxymoron. Without thinking much, I started my journey again. But also decided to seek the present fruit in hand that is meta-I.

(to be continued)


Hii visitors!
This is my first attemt to create a blog. The blog which is all about me, my life and my thoughts. Everybody's life is a chaos! Atleast at some or the other point, this is true. So in this chaotic world of mind, mine is a small attempt to discover myself. A journey into myself. Well!! all i can say is...let's enjoy blogging. Pls share your views about my views.